Few weeks after my post I was under full anaesthesia
removing a large cyst on my right ovary! It took me a while to fully recover
and contrary to what most people say, I didn't think that laparoscopic surgery
is simple and easy...
The shock of the surgery and the sudden realisation that
anything can go wrong during the donor-egg process was so real, that shook me
up.
I started to wonder I was doing the right thing. Although I
always felt that it is the right the thing, the thought did come through my
mind. I felt like I was putting pressure in my body to perform and what if it didn't? Thankfully the three month cooling off period approached and I was reminded the day before and during the last counselling session that I can only control my decision, not the outcome of the process; If I produce 15 eggs or not, I have no control of it... Can only pray that will actually work!
Today is day 5 of Synarel (twice in the morning and twice in
the evening). I feel like I am battling hay fever. I have had no headache and no sign of crazy hormonal symptoms. Then again,
if you ask my children they will say otherwise.
I blame everything else but the medication. It has been a stressful
week for me; mid-term assessments, my volunteer work and everything else that I
like to fit in my small hands, and of course, I can't! Most importantly, to me though, is lack of sex. It’s not that
I am not allowed to, yet, but with condoms, why bother? (There was a time in my younger years that condoms were the way to go, I just can't see to remember on awful it is.-Look, I don't want to promote unsafe sex here; is just that after 12 years happily married and no condoms, going back to it feels awkward.)
So, yes, I am in a very crappy mood today and hopefully will
be today only. I will have a glass of champagne to celebrate life and the start of a new day for me! Being grumpy and feeling crappy does not fit in with my personality, but if it is the Synarel, then I have no control of it and the end is nowhere near it, yet!! Ouch!
