I have started writing this on October 31st. At
that point in my life, I realised how much God has been very generous to me.
This is what I wrote:
“Yesterday I called my dad, like I usually do and he shared
the most beautiful news. My older brother, the one who has gone though one
cycle of IVF, then adopted a baby nearly a year ago is expecting a child. I was
a complete mess, immersed in an irrational emotion of tears, joy, fear and
bewilderment. Has life done a full circle around me? “
Knowing what I know today, the 9th of November, I
rest assured that life has done a full circle around me. I almost feel that I had
to give, compassionately and lovingly in order for my brother to receive. It
may sound a bit irrational to “proclaim” my brother’s success, but it only
makes sense.
The day before my last therapy session for the donor-egg
program, back in September, I went to a Christian women’s conference called
‘Fresh’. It was there that I reaffirmed my belief in what I was about to do. I
still have the piece of paper where I wrote: “I am compassionate; I feel loved
and I will give.”
The conference’s theme was ‘JOY’. We often forget to
celebrate life as it is, we find it hard to feel grateful, to trust someone and
hardly ever find any time for God.
Let’s put it this way; soon I will be 35, the very next day
it will be 24 years since my mother died. When I was young I thought that God
was so ironic to let me celebrate my life and yet be reminded of how short we
live; sometime only to the very next day. Life has never been a piece of cake
and this time of year it is far from easy for me; but besides right now, you’d
probably never hear me say that again.
I have never been so happy with someone else’s happiness and
have never been so pleased to understand and know how much another person’s
happiness can make such a positive difference to my life.
Yes, Abby is pregnant and her journey into motherhood is
just beginning.
We had a stressful week!
After her first blood test, things didn't seem to be as good
as the nurses wanted; Abby had to do another blood test and then, low and behold,
her numbers were high and a pregnancy was confirmed!
I am sure she is over the moon, I am over the moon!
I wonder if that is it for me. Have I accomplished my
mission? How do I thank God enough for all the wonderful things He has done in
my life? Mind you, not all things were wonderful, but I do try my best to see
the most wonderful in it all.
After all, we only live once and it is confirmed; we don’t
take anything from here, we just leave behind some bones or ash and other
people’s memories of us! We better be grateful, celebrate life more often,
trust God and feel the joy of being right here, right now. Like a children movie's character, Bigweld, once
said: “See a need, fill a need”. (‘Robots’ Movie)
