Monday, June 4, 2012

Donor-egg. Why Not?

Thirteen years from now I may be faced with a lovely teenager curious about why did I do it. My question back will be why not do it?
The decision on becoming a donor-egg was a quick one, yet, was and still is one decision that I think the most. First I made the decision myself, and then told Henry about it and with his support I started to consider all the options and scenarios.
One friend told that goes against the Catholic principle and that I was playing God. I replied quickly saying that yes, I could agree that the Church may see me acting like God, but I am God’s image and am doing what Jesus has taught us, which is to do to others like you would like one to do for you. God has allowed mankind to think, thus advancing Medical Technology, in my mind, I don’t believe there is anything wrong with my action. Technology is here to serve a purpose, like all of us are. It’s no different.
The counsellor asked if I would be able to say “no” to Abby through the process, until then, I never thought about it, then came into the realisation that would only stop this process if it’s causing harm to me.
Although Henry always thought I was being silly, I could not get over the idea of too many of my genetic material out there. The counsellor explained that contrary to what I think, I may have to do two rounds of collections, as many of the embryos do not make day five. She also said that they limit the distribution of my eggs to five families. That will only happen once Abby has had her family, which can be a couple of years from now. Then the left over is passed to another family and so on. At last I am in ease that there will not be a kindergarten class with 15 kids with my genetic material. She also said that most donor-egg have no more than six children out there. What a relief!
You may ask why I say relief, well, most women have trouble considering the thought of donating their egg, I have no problem with that, but I am not a proud male that think that there more children like me the better... If compassion was genetic, then sure I would have no problem making other women happy 15 times, but the number sounds so absurd. Thankfully it’s not like I imagined, so relief it is.
Sometimes we do things because it feels right. It feels right to me to embrace this journey. It may not be the perfect analogy, but it feels no different than being an organ donor, well there is a big difference, in this process we are all alive. I am giving the gift of hope, contributing to a dream to come true and fulfilling my own legacy, of helping when I see a need. If you are lucky enough to know me, you know that this is no fame and glory. You know that this is the way I am.
Clearly being a donor-egg is not as easy as being a sperm donor. Soon I will have to start injecting myself with hormones, I will possibly have mood swings and all other possible side effects of making my body produce more eggs than normally would. Does this make me think of stopping the process? No, it’s part of the journey.
I feel excited of being part of something so important to Abby’s life. In all honesty, it’s only my genetic material, besides; I have no control on what genes are going to be in that egg. How many generations ago someone in my family has had chromosome? All I can hope for is that a perfect healthy baby is born nine months after the procedure is complete. From then on, my part is done and Abby and Tim will trace their own journey with their own kid.

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